Author Topic: on to the funny stuff  (Read 2187 times)

Offline chuck p

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on to the funny stuff
« on: March 25, 2013, 10:32:03 AM »
That was a good one, Steve. You too, Dave. Waiting on you Danny! And hello Ann. Anyhow here goes...it took a year or so but after my initial accident i went back to running my tree and landscape business. Partly out of necessity [need $ to live] ; partly to prove to myself and others I could still cut the mustard [a little chest-thumping]. Anyway, I was in a potential cust omers back yard to give an estimate for removing large trees. Yard fenced in ....he had a barking dog. The owner assured me that dog had never bitten anyone. Then he went inside. I looked around at the work to be done ; talking to calm the dog. Then I turned and headed for the gate. I  hadn't gone far when I heard that chain rattling and could sense him rushing up behind me. Trying to go fast as I could [not fast!]...I braced for it....wham...he nailed me but picked the wrong leg! He got nothing but a mouthful of metal pipe....ouch for him! That dog must have thought " Damn, I gave him my best shot and that guy didn't flinch!"   A year or two later the same fellow calls me back for more work. The first thing he does is to tell me "Don't worry.....that dog died."  Good!

Offline dannyy

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2013, 12:15:51 PM »
Good one, Chuck!
So I've been tardy and you've started the thread. Here's my first....
Seven or so years ago I fell off a ladder at work. The fall was only six feet, but the landing was bad. After a week in the hospital we decided on amputation due to nerve damage and lack of blood flow. While in the hospital my sons flew in to visit. My son, Jay, was due to be married in two months in Oregon. We live in Massachusetts...a long flight for my post op condition. My other son, Lorin had flown in to visit from Kentucky with our three year old grand daughter, Alura. She saw me in the hospital while I still had my leg. The next time we met up was six or eight weeks later for Jay's wedding in Oregon. We met Lorin and Alura when their flight arrived. The first words out of her mouth upon seeing us were, "Poppy, where's your foot?". I had to think quick, so I said, "I left it home." " Why did you do that?" I said, "I forgot it." She gave me a quick look and scolded me, "Well go get it!".  It still makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

Offline DaveC

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2013, 05:43:56 PM »
Just a quick one:
I finally got to visit with my grand kids last summer.
So they finally got to see g-pa with no leg.
It was a little rough for em at first, but they soon got comfortable with it.
I have been communicating with them via Sprint FACE TIME
My youngest g-dau wants me to come visit them this summer in San Antonio to go swimming in their pool

She wants to see if pirates can swim!!!!


Offline ann

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2013, 09:04:51 AM »
  Great stories guys.  Love it. :)  It normally does not bother kids, they just accept it and go right on.  It's some of the adults that I would like to give a swift kick in the bum.

Offline DaveC

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2013, 09:59:23 AM »
Not related at all, but I thought it was funny:
I was talking to my brother last nite,and said that he had a cat named Herpes!

I said Herpes, WTF??

He said "Yea, I named it herpes, cause it keeps coming back!!!!"

I laughed till I cried!!!
« Last Edit: March 26, 2013, 10:03:49 AM by DaveC »

Offline Steve C

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2013, 07:10:00 PM »
Quote
It normally does not bother kids, they just accept it and go right on.

I used to live on an island off the west coast of Ireland. It was while I lived there that I had my accident. After I was out of the hospital and able to get around decent I went back to the island for a visit. (after the accident I moved off for the hospital and rehabilitation etc and rented a place on the mainland)

One morning I was at the B&B where I had lived and was having a cup of tea with a friend. It was early and I hadn't bothered to put on the leg and  just used the crutches to get to the kitchen. We were having a great chat when the neighbor and her young fella (about 4 y/o) came in for a cup of tea. The young boy just stared at my 'short leg'. I was wearing long pants but the absence of a shoe or foot at the bottom really threw him. I copped on to his fear and took off my shoe and placed it under the empty pant leg.

Once I did that he smiled as all was as it should be.
Where ever I go, I'll always have one foot in Ireland   /   I'm not a complete fool. Some parts are missing.

Offline dannyy

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2013, 09:06:09 PM »
Priceless, Steve!
This one is a bit mean, but funny nonetheless... Thanksgiving four or five years ago. My sister-in-law was dating a guy named John. His son was about seven years old and quite rowdy. I sat on my kitchen chair and pretended that I couldn't pull my boot off. I pushed the lock button on my socket and called little John over to pull off my boot. The poor kid's eyes got big as saucers as he yanked on my boot and pulled my whole foot off as he did a backward somersault! He's probably still being treated for post traumatic stress syndrome.  :o

Offline ann

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2013, 12:07:18 AM »
   

  SO FUNNY!      I THREATENED TO PULL MINE OFF AND SHAKE IT @ A HALLOWEENER THAT HAD BEEN THROUGH GETTING CANDY FOR THE THIRD TIME.   DIDN'T, SHOULD HAVE.

Offline ann

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2013, 12:09:58 AM »
Not related at all, but I thought it was funny:
I was talking to my brother last nite,and said that he had a cat named Herpes!

I said Herpes, WTF??

He said "Yea, I named it herpes, cause it keeps coming back!!!!"

I laughed till I cried!!!


DAVE, now that's funny. ;D ;D

Offline Steve C

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2013, 08:16:43 AM »
Pub fun...

I've had people ask which leg is missing and I'll say 'right'. They reach down and grab my leg and then go on about how real it feels. Then, of course I say 'Actually, its my left leg. But thanks for the massage'

I heard of one fella (not sure if its true) that had a prosthetic leg and would sometimes play tricks on people to get free drinks. He'd have his leg loosened up (maybe a pin system?) and when someone brushed by him he'd fall to the ground and bend his leg in a awkward angle. The other poor man would think the man broke his leg and offer to help. The 'injured' man would ask for a drink and when it was passed to him he'd just stand up, fix his leg and say something along the lines of 'fair enough, we're even now...'

I heard of a man who lived in the west of Ireland in a fairly rural area. He was known for the drink and also for being a bit belligerent after a few drinks. He'd have a load of drink at the pub then go home mid day to have a rest.  Then he would come back in the evening for another go. People were becoming very annoyed at this routine and one day they followed him home. They waited until he was asleep and then they stole his leg so he couldn't come back that night. In the morning his leg would be there at his front door for him to use. This evening leg stealing went on for a few weeks and the 'leg thieves' were well pleased with themselves as their evenings were nice and quiet again. That is until a few weeks later. The man had been in for his afternoon drink and then he was off to have his rest. They stole his leg and that evening he walks in the pub again.

He had simply gone and had another leg made....
Where ever I go, I'll always have one foot in Ireland   /   I'm not a complete fool. Some parts are missing.

Offline ann

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2013, 11:49:34 AM »

It is good WE can at least have afew laughs once in awhile after all the hell most of us have already been through after amputation.   8) :P :o ;D 8) ;)

Offline chuck p

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2013, 04:47:21 PM »
More pub fun.....I knew a fellow who came back from the Vietnam War pretty busted up. Confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life but he maintained a great sense of humor. Get a few drinks in him at a bar and his glass eye would end up on the pool table in the middle of a game. With him trying to make shots with it!

Offline chuck p

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2013, 05:19:13 PM »
Beach fun.....Years ago we were on a family vacation at Ocean City, Md. Back then i was nervous about getting sand in my prosthesis and would crutch down to the beach. Early on I had huge scars all over [called keliods] : throat slashed, underarm to spine to remove 1/2 damaged lung, groin to sternum to fish out my quad and femur, a dozen chest tube sites......only my arms were unaffected. Sometimes I'd work outside with my shirt off and people would ask " Did you get in a fight with a combine or a woodchipper?"  Anyhow, I'm crutching along the beach and I see a group of young pre-teen boys out in front of me. They see me coming ....I notice they were whispering among themselves with a little snickering thrown in. As I crutch up to them I stop and point to the water out in front of us....."Shark"  I say solemnly...." Right there."  Smiles and smirks disappeared instantly! I, however smiled inwardly and continued on my way.

Offline chuck p

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2013, 06:47:53 PM »
p.s.  Those were great stories Steve!  I  loved how you would get a "free" leg massage!

Offline Steve C

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Re: on to the funny stuff
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2013, 07:38:18 PM »
When asked how I lost my leg I have said shark attack, that I broke it off in some fellas backside when he was annoying me, and that I cut myself shaving. (Actually, it was while working on a ferry I got caught up in a mooring rope...)
Where ever I go, I'll always have one foot in Ireland   /   I'm not a complete fool. Some parts are missing.