Author Topic: New  (Read 6454 times)

Offline DetroitDevil

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Re: New
« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2008, 03:49:29 PM »
Michelle thanks for that information and also thank you to all who have shared their stories. In just one day I don't feel so alone here.  ;D
Jenise
San Diego CA

Offline Dick Stevens

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Re: New
« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2008, 05:02:27 PM »
Marilyn:

Thanks for your insightful, inspiring post just now.  What you say is SO true.  While it's tempting at times to feel self-pity, I can quickly set that aside.  I really AM quite fortunate, especially when compared to some other folks.

The same week I had my first amputation, a member of our congregation, about my age, suffered a diving accident and was left paralyzed from neck down, similar to Christopher Reeves, the actor.  I didn't know him well at the time, but realized that compared to him, all my "medical adventures" were a mere "walk in the park".  Bob shows up in church most sundays, with his wheelchair and portable respirator, accompanied by his devoted wife.  I understand that he and his sons still operate their consulting business.

Like you, I feel our modest little condo home is a veritable mansion, fully h/c accessible, and quite comfortable for our needs.  Nicely situated less than an hour's drive from each of our 2 married kids and grandchild, within an easy drive from our various church commitments.  We bought the house as it was being built, so we could have the accessible features built in at the time.

Oh sure, my loss of limbs and low vision are bumps in the road of life, but surely no bigger bumps that many reople deal with.  A faithful, loving, incredibly patient wife who makes so much of my living possible.  Ah!  Life is pretty darned good, I would have to say.
Dick Stevens, DBKA in PA

Offline Marilyn

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Re: New
« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2008, 08:48:22 PM »
Dick, thank you for your kind words.  BTW, my favorite uncle is named Dick.  He's my mom's twin brother.  Good name!

Ah, the darkest my life has ever been was the year after I lost my son, Luke.  It was hard to move out of that place.  I also spent that same year on a Parents of Suicides discussion forum.  A darker place I've never seen, nor do I want to.

I wasn't sure I could move out of there, but slowly, with the help of others and my infinite faith in life moving on beyond this particular life lifted me up and out of despair.

This forum suits me much better!  I prefer to see the good things.  There truly is enough bad in life that we COULD choose to get lost here,  but I'd rather live!
Marilyn
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA

Offline Dick Stevens

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Re: New
« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2008, 09:30:53 PM »
Marilyn:

Sorry you had to go thru that dark time.  The loss of your son was surely bad enough.  But if the Parents of Suicide forum turned out to be a pool of folks wallowing in their sorrow, that must have been a double-bummer.  Glad you got out and back into the sunlight.

Happy to say, we amputees seem to have a better time of it.  But I know what you mean.  When I had my first amp surgery, one pastor friend of mine visited me in the hospital.  What a maudlin trip that was!  He was hanging more crepe than I could imagine.  I like this guy, but I couldn't wait for that visit to end.  I was trying to cheer HIM up.  Thankfully, I was in pretty good mental shape, so it wasn't too bad.  Fortunately, every other visitor I had was decidely more up-beat. 

Then, of course, there was my family's wry sense of humor.  My son came in and greeted me with "That's cheating, Dad.  No fair losing weight that way."  Ah yes, humor is some of the best medicine.  Just one more way to say "If life hands ya' lemons, make lemonage,"

If we're gonna go on this little ride in life, it might as well be as much fun as possible, right?

I have found that various on-line groups like this one, as well as our local face-to-face support group to be most up-lifting.  We can hold and support someone as they go thru a tough time.  But we can also share some good belly-laughs, too.  And, if we can share a bit of practical how-to hints as well, so much the better.

I'm glad you found us - and we found you.  Our crew's a bit richer because you're among us.

Dick Stevens, DBKA in PA

Offline herb

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Re: New
« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2008, 10:13:45 PM »
Hi Marilyn - I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your son Luke. I have 5 children and I have been terrified of suicide a few times. One of my daughters was overwhelmed by college and lost relationships and she spoke of taking her own life. I am so grateful that she was able to get past those dark times. She finally graduated and now has a job that she loves and a new relationship. One of my sons was floundering in his life for a while, but he also was able to get through it and now has a great wife, 2 kids and a great job working for microsoft making more money than I ever have. I am so blessed in my life. I am so glad that you have been able to move out of that dark spell in your life. I admire you. herb

Offline JClark

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Re: New
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2008, 10:16:28 AM »
It's amazing how easily people can get these handicapped parking permits.  Autistic child?  Yep.  Blind child? yep. In Pennsylvania, you get one when you turn 60.  Or so it seems.

I recently had to re-enter a store because someone (with a tag) parked in the "blue lined" section of the handicapped parking spot.  Totally blocking the little ramp that let me go from sidewalk to parking lot height.  I explained this to the clerk, and she acted mortified, offered to call mall security.  I assured her the car would be gone in minutes and the police would never issue a ticket. 

It's amazing how the people who get these permits don't read the rules of use.

My favorite is the rear-view mirror tags say "remove before driving" yet you see them blocking their view of traffic as they drive around town.

I haven't had anyone say a word to me in a long time about my use of the parking spaces.  The next person who does, I will not try and get them to change their mind.  I'll simply encourage them to a) complain to the store management or b) try and get a police officer to come and write me a ticket.

I've had some luck calling businesses and snitching on their employees using handicapped parking spaces with company vehicles.  My favorite was two marines with a foot locker and a USMC vehicle.....

What I pitty are the people who need that extra space for wheelchair lifts and getting the lift blocked by an inconsiderate person who feels entitled to the space designed for the lift mechanism....

I have no idea how we can make the handicapped parking work like it's intended. 
North-East Pennsylvania
+Left foot------------+Right foot---------------+
|Accident 8/31/2002 |ankle fusion 1/8/2008  |
|Amp 7/11/2003      | RBK (Ertl)    4/7/2010 |
|Ertl June 2005        |                                  |
+---------------------+-------------------------+

Offline DetroitDevil

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Re: New
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2008, 12:32:52 PM »
JClark- I know what you mean when I was wheelchair bound and needed the space it seemed difficult to get a parking place.

Here in California I know you can get a placard if you are overweight or are unable to read, I do not see these as handicaps that make it necessary to park where someone in a wheelchair needs it. They even have "Expectant Mothers" parking places here and I see that abused by women who may be pregnant but aren't showing. Seems that no one who can walk wants to take the time to do it. those of us who wish we could walk or could walk without pain wished we could park to the back.
Jenise
San Diego CA

Offline pegleg jack

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Re: New
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2008, 05:34:12 PM »
Jenise and Jclark, here is some information that i got from a person in HOUSTON, TEXAS. and is it working out great down there and i am trying to get it started up here in JACKSONVILLE, TX;

http://www.houstontx.gov/parking/volunteer.htm
http://www.houstontx.gov/parking/20060207.htm
http://www.jckap.citymax.com/page/page/3300238.htm
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/metro/4082800.html
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/3651629.html

this person has volunteered for this and is now what you might call a handicap parking cop, she is an upper extremity amputee herself
you-all have a great day.

Offline Dick Stevens

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Re: New
« Reply #23 on: March 10, 2008, 03:37:44 AM »
One of my classic cases of h/c parking spece abuse was the state highway dept large dump truck parked cross-wise in ALL 4 of the h/c  parking spaces, while the occupants sat inside having lunch.  Yes, there was plenty of space further out on the parking lot they could have used.

The store manager walked over to their table and announced for all to hear "It's so good to see the state hiring the handicapped.  Which one of you is the handicapped driver? <pause> You really ought to put up your blue tag, ya know."  These jerks didn't look too pleased to  half the restaurant staring at them.
 
Dick Stevens, DBKA in PA

Offline herb

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Re: New
« Reply #24 on: March 10, 2008, 08:35:52 PM »
Hi Dick - I can see by the time you posted that you are either a night owl or a very early riser. I pick my youngest son up at school most days between 5 and 6pm. The school parking lot only has 4 handicapped parking spaces. Frequently all 4 are occupied by cars without handicap permits. They are all side by side and sometimes there is a school bus parked across all four waiting for a sport activity to end. When I see all four spots occupied by cars without permits, I am tempted to park my truck behind all of them and block them in, but I have never done it. I then have to park at the far end of the lot. Herb

Offline uScott

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Re: New
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2008, 09:23:45 AM »
They even have "Expectant Mothers" parking places here and I see that abused by women who may be pregnant but aren't showing.

It may be worth noting that such spaces (pregnant parking, senior parking, etc) are not legally protected, unlike disabled parking.  The property owner might be able to kick you for trespassing, but that's all.  Personally I'll use them when they're convenient, and have never been hassled about it.  I do find it a bit outrageous when such "specialty" parking spots are closer and easier than the legally-required disabled parking spots....

-Scott

Offline pegleg jack

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Re: New
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2008, 04:22:15 PM »
TO ALL, here is another site on this about handicapped parking.

www.handicappedfraud.org

PEGLEG JACK
you-all have a great day.

Offline metdrs

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Re: New
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2008, 07:54:05 PM »
I have had my share of encounters with handicapped parking abuse. I have seen people both with out placards and people who have a placard for a family member use the spaces because they are close. I once asked this young able women if she was mentally or physically handicapped, and suggested she move her shinny little sports car. After giving me a dirty look, she did move,

PJ. I like  both of your posts listing the websites for abuse. There should be a way to educate these people, just let them try to manage as we do. The support group that I attend did have a disability awareness evening for scouts to educate them.

My best encounter was at a local supermarket. A chief was demonstrating and selling his products for a three hour time period. He parked his delivery van, with advertising on both sides,in a  handicapped space in front of the store, while his personal SUV with handicapped plates was parked further out on the parking lot. I approached the manager on duty and asked him what he was going to do about it. He spoke to the chef, and returned to show me his handicapped wallet card with the message that was all he needed. The young manager then asked me if I was having a bad day. I showed him my leg and explained to him that his handicapped customers needed the space to shop in the store.

My silent protest to this treatment is to shop less in that store and never to buy any of that chef's products.

Dave
« Last Edit: March 11, 2008, 07:56:07 PM by metdrs »
Taking one day at a time!!

Offline pbutler9

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Re: New
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2008, 08:19:50 PM »
I have had my prosthesis for some 35 years now.  I get stares from people when using the handicapped parking - a few people have come up to me and told me that I am too young to park in handicapped parking - like age is a factor in being handicapped!  Depending on my mood at the time, sometimes I just laugh at them, sometimes I'll telll them to take it up with motor vehicles.  I had one person threaten to call the police on me - I leaned against my car and told them that I was willing to wait for them to arrive.  Took the wind out of their sails!

At work though, people are great.  Most of them forget that I lost my leg.  When I was pregnant with my youngest, I had alot of swelling in my ankle of my real leg.  One of the woman asked why my other one didn't swell up.  I just smiled at her and a few minutes later, the light went on!  After a while, people just accept you the way you are.  And frankly, if people can't accept you the way you are, they are not your friend.  The hardest thing though is to accept yourself the way you are.  You went through a tough time and you survived.  If you can go through all that, you have the strength to deal with the idiots of the world. 
Pam
Downingtown, Pa

snowbear

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Re: New
« Reply #29 on: March 31, 2008, 07:27:20 PM »
Hello Jenise I'm kind of new to this site but was on the old site too..I too am a amputee LBK for 4.5 years..Due to a major bone infection.. I had a birth defect and endured many operations since infancy..Major bone graphs and pins, cast, rods, a long leg brace you  name it.. I had pseudoartthosis of the tibia..Which means nonunion once it breaks your basically screwed. My leg broke at 8 months old in a cast! it was placed in a cast for protection and it broke any way. Amputation was suggested several time to my parents as a infant and child but they freaked and I had many unsuccessful operations right to until my amputation. I had a very defourmed scared, leg and my foot was 4 times smaller than my good foot before the amputation, form being in a cast for 3 years at a time as a child and young adult. I developed a life threaten bone infection and had no choice to loose the leg any way..Its been a major struggle for me as my ramming leg still has the birth defect in it. And its hard to get a good fitting prosetic leg. I have major phantom pain almost 24/7 and real pain.. I do manage OK however as pain as always been my constant companion. I mangar to work in a 1st grade class as a teaching assistant and love it. I only work 4.0 hours which is just enough..

I hope your doing OK..Amputation is a life changing experience but it gets better and it is what we make it..I hope you find the support here we all need.